It has been way too long since I have written for my blog! I have spent much of this past 12 months on a memoir, "Waltzing with His Walker," a book about the year that I lived with my dad in 2010-2011. The writing took much less time than the editing, rewriting, and now, work on self-publishing. In the process of learning about self-publishing, I have also been learning a lot about my computer and new processes, and today, I decided it was time to organize and clear out a lot of unnecessary and duplicate files. I came across some interesting things in the process! One was the following entry that I remember writing after such a magical experience, and I want to share. Enjoy! And Happy Easter!
So, I think
it’s all in the surrender – to the process of life, to our being exactly where
we need to be (and maybe even secretly, want
to be), and to the faith that we are not in harm’s way all the time. That we really are creating and have created
the best-case scenario for what we need now, to further us in our
enlightenment, or something close along that line.
Car trouble and
car repairs just send me into a hot frenzy. (So does dental trouble, but that’s
a whole other story!!) Literally, my
body goes hot and I break into a terrible sweat, anticipating the worst. The worst being… I don’t even know!! I just anticipate something horrible. (Which never happens….)
Money figures
in prominently, for sure. “I won’t have
enough to pay for my car or it will put me in other dire straits.” This used to be true, many years ago, not
now, but the fear still runs through me/my mind every time something goes wrong
with my car. Knock wood, I have had
nearly no trouble for three years, since I bought my current car. It’s a 1999, though, and starting to feel its
age. It had 100,000 miles when I bought
it, and I’ve driven across the country in it, as well as labored it with daily
driving and a few lengthy road trips, so I make sure to keep it maintained
(oil, fluids, belts, tires, etc.) regularly.
I know that my radiator is starting to go, has developed a crack, and
will soon need to be replaced. Ugh. I’ve made an appointment to get it done next
week. And I know that it will all be OK,
that I can afford it, that the mechanics will do a good job, and that it won’t
be the first in a series of automotive maladies……
But back to the
surrender thing. And trust, really… I took my car for an oil change/check up
yesterday, as I had the day off, and had it on my ‘to do’ list for a tad too
long. Went to the place I’d been
previously, but found an hour+ wait too long to waste, so was headed home,
intending to return first thing next morning when I could get in right away. But on the way home, I remembered a place a
few folks had referred me to - pulled over and called them, found they could take me right then, AND they were
three blocks from where I was!!!! AND
their price was less than what I would have paid at the original stop. Bingo.
Besides that,
the waiting room was nice!!! Spacious,
clean, nice furniture, live plants, and
a clean bathroom! AND the gal at the
desk let me fax a few pages that I'd been driving around with for a week,
trying to find a place to do that. Four
for four. They weren't the fastest team
in town, but I figured they were thorough.
When finished, the mechanic gave me a detailed checklist/evaluation
sheet that I read once I got home. One
of the notes was "oil leak....need engine steam cleaned to determine
source. $39.95." I'm thinking, "Pyeah, like I'll get THAT
done. They want to replace a bulb over
my license tag for $22.00. I don't think
so..." And that was that. Paperwork on my desk to deal with later.
This morning
was that 'later.' Due at work in 20
minutes, I cranked the car, pulled out of the driveway, and a mile away,
smelled some burny smell and started seeing smoke. Yikes!!!
"Maybe it's just oil from yesterday burning off. I'll go on to work and take care of it
tomorrow." And then more smoke and
the engine light. Yikes again! Three years, this car has never popped the
engine light! "I"m turning
around and heading back to the
mechanic." Called into work and
canceled my appointment (this is a trust thing in itself: the appointment was with someone I really did
not want to work with!), drove straight to the shop, and huffed into the front
office. Mr. Personality (not) at the
desk asked me my name, then started typing with two fingers for a full minute,
answered a phone call and talked to
another mechanic about a green Honda, and typed in another few hundred
keystrokes while I stood waiting,
feeling annoyed and anxious. The fear in
me took my mind to "WHY is this happening?
What did I do wrong? What's next?!?" Natural first reaction. Car thing.
Until I stopped and thought, "Well, if it's happening, it's
probably OK, and might even be good. All
Divine, right?" Instantly, I felt
better. Maybe not 100% better, but
better!
Turns out the
mechanic suspected the new oil filter put in yesterday "must have a pin
hole and the oil leaked out, all over your engine. That's what you smelled - it's right here by
the exhaust system. I'll pull it and
see. And we'll power steam clean your
engine before you take off so it won't keep smelling." Hmmm......that sounded good!
Indeed, it was
what he'd suspected. "That's
happened two times in thirty-six years."
So I got a second oil filter, another inspection, a free steam cleaning,
a big apology, and, for my trouble, a ten percent discount on my radiator
replacement next week (which would be significant savings!). So really, what I'm saving with the discount
and the steam cleaning, I made up the lost wages of the morning.
What are the
odds? It made me smile and so appreciate
the flawless design and humor of Divinity, and having been able to change my
attitude of fear and anxiety to one of surrender and acceptance. Somehow, it almost feels like that is what
brought about the magical outcome.
I'm guessing
I'll have another chance to try it out.
Maybe I'll make a dental appointment for next week, see what
happens!
