Friends

“Friends are Flowers In the Garden of Life.”

It’s not always enough just to say that someone is my friend – it sometimes takes a good test (god test) or two to really cement the deal, as far as my heart’s concerned.

I moved to Florida because it was a dream for many years – all my life?? – and the reason I even had the opening to have it become a reality was a visit to see my old friend, Jan.  We’d worked together for a while “back in the 80‘s” and had a fun time and a decent connection at the time.  Then jobs changed, relocations happened, and distance became a familiar face.

Time does have a way of sifting out the soft, grainy ones, and highlighting the nuggets that hold fast and shine bright.  Such was the case with Jan:  years after parting ways, and years again after being periodic pen pals, we reconnected by phone, and shortly thereafter, in person, when I came to see her in Florida.  Little had changed, though much had changed in both of our lives.  She was still Jan and I was still Mary.

Since we had such a great visit together and since I loved the area (Ocean!  Water everywhere!), and since I was way ready for a change of scenery, I decided to pack it up and move to the Sunshine State.  With next to nothing and nothing awaiting me (i.e. employment or housing), it seemed a daunting endeavor, but my heart was hollering at me to go!

Without missing a beat, “If you really want to come, you can stay with me until you find a place to live and get your feet on the ground.”

Gulp.  No turning back now.

So I moved, and as scary and chaotic as the new life seemed, all I have a sense of when I look back on that time is comfort, warmth (well, it WAS July! J), and care.  For the first time since I was about 7 years old, I felt genuinely taken care of.  I had a home, food, an instant family, computer access, and … love.  Honestly, I don’t remember a lot about all of our interactions, specifically.  What I do remember is just awe at how someone would DO that for me!!!  I felt at home and welcomed.  What could have been just really a stressful time was a stressful time with hope and caring, laughter and compassion.  It is a time that will remain in my heart forever. 

Because of Jan, I have learned what being a friend is all about.  It’s not about obligation and duty, nor of expecting and needing.  Rather, it is an opening of one’s eyes and heart to what is necessary in the moment to lift someone up.  It is to listen and hear what isn’t being said, and it is to speak truth without making a single sound. 

It is mostly, I suspect, about being available to the love within ourselves that speaks to us and through us, in courage and conviction, to strengthen our bonds of connection to something other than ourselves, and to something much larger than our selves!